Gracefully Forgiven- You Are Forgiven, Now Forgive Yourself

One of the hardest kinds of forgiveness to extend is the kind we owe to ourselves. God’s mercy is not just for others…its for me and YOU, too! 

Forgiving ourselves is part of receiving of HIS grace.

Forgiving oneself can be the most difficult thing to do because it often means confronting deep feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. If you can relate, let me share how I overcome this and I know you will too. 

Unlike forgiving others, self-forgiveness requires a deep and internal release of the pain we feel we deserve to carry. Many of us struggle with the idea that we should be punished for our past mistakes. I know I struggled for years leaving my past mistakes in the past and carried them with me. It was hard to do as I lived with a mindset of perfectionism and self-condemnation. Sometimes, the standards we hold for ourselves are impossible and unreasonable.

We can argue and say, “Well, I have high standards for myself.” Yes, that’s great but is it keep you hostage from truly walking in freedom. 

Walking in unforgiveness becomes a heavy stronghold that keeps us feeling stuck. It also makes it hard to accept that failure is part of being human. 

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 

Mistakes happen; however, we replay our wrongs over and over, thinking that holding on to the guilt somehow makes us more accountable or protects us from repeating the same mistakes. But in reality, let me tell… this mindset only keeps us stuck in a cycle of self-condemnation, unable to move forward in freedom and healing. Self condemnation is not from God. 

His words confirms this.

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romas 8:1. And “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us” 1 John 1:9. 

God’s grace doesn’t just cover others, it covers us too.

When we choose to believe that, we take the first step toward healing and true freedom.

The second thing we must recognize and uproot unworthiness. I say this because I felt unworthy for so long. I remember joining Freedom Ministry in February 2023 and my now mentor Kassandra Morales was teaching and I asked this exact question. “What if you feel unworthy?” Her first comment ever to me was “Girl you need healing!” I knew in that exact moment I needed to dig deeper to uproot the issue that was holding me hostage.

One of those reason was I felt like my sin or failure disqualified me from being forgiven, but that’s exactly why we need grace. I didn’t understand grace so I dove deeper into understanding and truly believing grace was for me too.

Let me tell you GRACE ISN’T EARNED…IT’S A GIFT!!! His word confirms it in Romans 5:8 

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” 

When the revelation came forth and I finally realized HE DIED FOR ME!!! I knew immediately that I had to allow myself to grief the old self and offer the grace he was most graciously offering once and time again. No matter what I did. He reminded me he loved me and how I was forgiven. 

We often tie self-forgiveness to the approval or healing of others. We are soooo afraid others haven’t forgiven us, so we don’t forgive ourselves. But while reconciliation is beautiful OUR personal freedom doesn’t depend on others but in Christ.

“it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Galatians 5:1.  

We often think, “if they’re still hurt, then I don’t deserve to be forgiven.” Therefore, we constantly live in an emotional limbo, waiting for their permission to let go of the shame we carry. But let me explain…Forgiveness is not a chain that bind us to someone else’s process. It truly is a personal act of obedience to God’s truth, and it begins with believing what Jesus did for us IS ENOUGH. 

Another reason we struggle with forgiving ourselves is we forget our identity in Christ and not our mistakes or who people say we are. When we focus on our failures instead of who God says we are, we lose sight of our redeemed identity. 

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come.” 2 Corinthians 5:17.  

I am a new creation. I am made new in HIM. Once I understood and believed it and walked in my new identity chains broke. I continued to see freedom and also felt soooo beyond joyful and liberated from those strongholds. I was a new person. The enemy tries to take those past mistakes and torment us with these lies, “no one is going to love you.” “You will never change.” All those lies we must take ahold of and bring them to submit to God!

 God is in control and the only voice I will accept to hear and believe is God’s voice. Holy Spirt will convict me but never condemn me into believing that I am my past.  

So, today I remind you..do you know your identity in Christ? If you are still struggling with this I urge to find you a group that will help you walk in this new identity. I love my woman’s group! I love my mentor.  I know who I am today because of God and Freedom Ministry. My name is Dora and I am a servant of the Lord. I am a disciple of the Lord. Who are you? Because God defines you by his love, his sacrifice, and his purpose for you. You are a child of God…redeemed, restored, and redefined by grace. You don’t have to hustle for worth. It’s already your in Christ. So stand up, dust off the shame and walk boldly in your God-given identity because that’s where healing begins. 

As you reach this point of your journey toward self-forgiveness, pause and take a deep breath…not just reflect but to release. Release the weight of what you’ve carried for too long… the shame, the guilt, the should have known betters, and the silent torment of a heart that hasn’t felt worthy of peace. The truth is, Jesus didn’t just die to forgive our sins…he died to free our souls from prison of self-condemnation. Romans 5:20 confirms this,

“Where sin increased, grace increased all the more.”

That means no mistake, no past, no failure is too dark for God’s light. Grace not only meets you at your lowest it lifts you to a place you never thought you’d belong. You don’t have to earn HIS forgiveness. You only have to receive it. And once you do is learning to extend that same mercy and grace to yourself.  

One of my favorite authors, Max Lucado said it best, “God’s grace is greater than your deepest sin, your greatest failure, or your most haunting regret.” So why do we struggle to accept it ourselves? Because deep down, we often believe the lie that our value is based on our performance. But friend, God’s love isn’t fragile like that. It doesn’t break when we mess up. John Bevere said, “God’s love is not based on your performance, its based on His character.” And his character is merciful, forgiving, and relentlessly loving.  

Let that sink in…you are not what you’ve done. You are what HE has done for you. You are not the sin; you are the redeemed. You are not the failure; you are the forgiven. You are not broken beyond repair, you are being rebuilt by grace, brick by brick, day by day. 

“I, even I, am he who blots out our transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Is.43:25

If God has forgotten it, why are you still carrying it?

So today, let this be your turning point. Let this be the movement where you say, “I will no longer punish myself for what God has pardoned.” And when you do, I promise its when you will walk in the most memorable time of your healing journey. A new beginning to fully embrace the grace you didn’t think you deserved, because it was never about being deserving. It was ALWAYS about the CROSS. 

So pick up your cross daily and remember you are loved. You are covered.  You are free. And now, you are ready to walk forward not in shame but in testimony , healing and boldness. 

Sincerely, 

Dora Mendoza

IG: @dora_mndza490